Please allow me to use `I’ so that we can communicate.
I have not yet reached a stage where I can say that I am out of the world (Nishkam), but gradually I have realized the futility of pursuing the worldly possessions, chasing its ungraspable mirages, indulging in meaningless sensory gratifications and drinking the salty ocean water of fame without quenching my thirst .
Though I am in the world, but without any urge to repeat the past `catch and acquire’ habits. I have also realized the futility of `holier than thou’ or `my shirt is now whiter than yours’ approach by putting on the mask of a pseudo `satsangi’. How did I come to this stage?
Like bus, train, air tickets, scriptures also serve a practical purpose. After a stage, these are also to be got rid of, but as long as I depend on the society for my bare minimum needs (nor desires), I should continue with my selective scriptures – Gita, Maharamayana (Yoga-vashishtha), Ashtravakra Gita – reading these give me a kind of happiness I cannot describe. After reaching this last step, let me describe my attitudes – I do not like hypocrite persons. I feel happy in the company of honest, simple-of-heart-and-possessions people who have realized the futility of worldly pleasures and are trying to know the real self `Atma Sakshatkar’. How can confused persons remove my or others’ confusions? By God’s grace, I have come to and gracefully accepted in the company of real spiritual gems of this divine forum.
This was from the last step. The initial steps were my deep effortless love for nature and its denizens – birds, butterflies, insects, mountains, rivers, sunshine, moon, stars, rains, trees, jungles, flowers, creatures, music, great poets and writers. Then, there were holy scriptures, their speakers, kirtans, satsangs, bhajans, anecdotes from the lives of great saints, Vivekanand, Swami Ramteerth, Maharishi Raman, J Krishnamurti, Vimla Thakar, and so on and so on. In the mean while, there were love affairs, successful and not so successful, marriage, ups and downs, extra-marital attraction and other charms – whose beginning was smeared with sadness, in the middle was stupid pleasure but gloominess and in the end there was again sadness of frustration and meaninglessness. One `guru’ was made who simply forced me to follow some rituals without any spiritual insights. Left for good.
And then, the greatest revolution happened, studied literature of Swami Ramsukhdasji Maharaj and his `darshan’ and `satsang’ at Rishikesh, I was there when he breathed his last – weather was cloudy with light rains, but there was a rainbow inside me… don’t know from where it appeared…His last will, I have read many times and always cry with tears like a child, result is always ever new `bliss’. In fact, this blob of proteins does not want to know, but just to be, to be, to be… And yet, I love to be in the company of true sadhaks like you all and like a few others.
So that the mirages of the sensory pleasures may not draw me astray, hence my request to all sadhaks/siddhs on this list to kindly let me be with you, I need your blessings.
MO TE ADHIK SANT KARI LEKHA (Ram in Manas). Compassionate Lord Krishna, when the ripe time will come, will merge me with His `Is-ness’ – there is nothing to be done, just I have to stand in the sunshine of His saints.
Suresh C. Sharma